104

What the heck is wrong with 104???  I'm not talking about my temperature or my body mass index, I am talking about my weight!  Okay, so I have lost a few pounds, what do you expect, the last few weeks have not been just sitting around drinking wine and eating chocolate, wish it had been!!

Anyway, we went to see my oncologist for my labs and a check up before my next chemo treatment on Wednesday, and I thought he would be thrilled that my white blood cell count is up to 5.9, outstanding number for me, the rest of the numbers still low but okay for the go ahead for chemo.  He was focused on my weight for some reason and told Bill to try and persuade me to eat more to add a few more pounds!  Good Grief, I have always been thin my entire life, I eat good food and lots of it, it just does not "stick" to my bones, what can I say.......

We picked up some ice cream at the local grocery store on the way home, guess what I will be eating after supper, and I am not really fond of ice cream.  I prefer homemade chocolate chip cookies, homemade pies and cakes!  Here is the proof of purchase......

Upsetting, so the southerner in me came home and made a meatloaf and macaroni and cheese. That wore me out, so I am propped up in my bed doing this blog.  I am going to pig out tonight on comfort food and I guess a bowl of this ice cream.  Hope it works!  And get this, I thought I was looking good, wore my cute red hat, but all Dr. G was interested in was the 104 lbs, go figure!

Bill is thrilled, said the house smelled so good.......glad I could at least please him.  Thanks for listening to me gripe a little.  I am truly blessed to have a doctor that is only looking out for my best interest, so I will try really hard to pass his test.  Love you all for tuning in to the latest news at our house.

Memory Lane

Just a short blog today.  I am feeling okay today, but something was just not quite right, bothering me in a "down" kind of way, if you know what I mean.  After lunch, it dawned on me.  Today, March 9 is the anniversary of my father's death.  He was born on March 2, 1913 and died on March 9, 1998 after a battle with colon cancer.  Many years have passed since then and I think what triggered my memory of him was when I got my head shaved at the barber shop yesterday.  When my Dad retired from the Air Force he decided to go to barber school.  He worked for many years doing just that.  Even gave both my boys their first haircut!  I think he would have been very proud of me choosing a barber shop to go to yesterday.  Thanks Dad, it must have been some kind of subliminal message he sent to me from Heaven!

I have such fond memories growing up, and my Dad is a big part of those memories.  The picture below is my Dad and my brother, Brent in Florida on Father's Day in 1989.  Thanks Dad for a little fond walk down memory lane.

 Just a side note, my Dad's name is Harvey Philip Hammer, born in Buffalo, NY.  My grandson's middle name is Philip and my niece, Pamela named her son Harvey.  Hope you enjoyed my little memory walk.  God Bless all of you that follow my blog.

Gone Baby Gone

I have felt like a dog shedding her winter coat for the last 5 days.  At first it was just a few strands and then each day there was more and more hair in my comb, and when I washed my hair, good grief the hair really came out when I combed it.  I was in a little denial about the hair losing thing, because it did not happen right away after my first chemo treatment; so I thought just maybe it won't happen to me.  Never second guess your oncologist, he said it would happen and it did.  Anyway, after 5 days of the shedding I went and had what was left of the thin hair shaved off.

I agonized over where to go for the "shaving."  No, no not my regular beauty salon, too many people, sometimes with small children and I just did not want the women looking at me, I know sounds funny.  But, the too many people and small children are a real concern for me because I have very few infection fighters, white blood cells right now.  So, I asked Bill about his barber.  Bill goes to a very small local (Westminster) barber shop.  We decided to be there around 9:00 a.m. this morning, so maybe there would not be many men there.  That turned out to be the best decision of the day.  I think God led me there, because no one was there yet, and Bill had discussed my situation with the barber last week when he went for a hair cut.  I hopped in the chair, all ready and what do I see on the wall in front of me, a large poster of the Ten Commandments and next to it is a good sized American flag.  I knew I was in the right pew!  Turns out the barber is also a preacher at the Westminster Wesleyan Church.  So going to Ken's Barber Shop this morning was a gift from God!  Enjoy the following pictures of the "event."

I think my daughter-in-law, Aimee would approve of my hat and I know Michael and Keith will approve of my earrings and pearls!  I even put on lipstick and Chanel No.5 parfum for the event!

I am okay with it all, just a little cold if I don't wear a hat.  I ordered a hat for sleeping from a cancer website, it came today, good timing.  I ordered the one with an angel on it, because I know I have lots of angels out there praying and watching over me and I thank each and every one of you, right after I thank God for all my blessings.  Thanks for listening and cheering me on.  Love to you all.

12 minutes remaining

Just to let everyone that follows me know, every day is not spent in pain or feeling lousy, there are some good days.  And today was a great day!  I called my good friend Jean, and just so you know, I would not be able to quilt like I do without her, you just can't learn everything from a book!  Anyway, like I said I called her this morning to see if she would like to come over and help me on Katie's quilt for a few hours.  She said "I will be there at 1:00 p.m."  No hesitation in that girl,  she came and we had the best time, talking girl talk and sewing just like I was completely well again.  I feel tired now so am in my bed doing this blog, feel kind of like my laptop when the warning comes on and says, '12 minutes remaining.'  I will "plug" back in and feel re-energized very soon!

Jean took a couple of pictures of me just to prove what I am saying is true!  Mama, these pictures are especially for you because I know you worry about me.   I told Jean my hair is starting to fall out, so get the picture of me with hair while you can!

With friends and family that love me unconditionally, how could I disappoint any of them by not getting well.  So, I will continue to take each day as a gift from God.  I'm going to take that little energizing nap right now.  Love you all.

The Statue and the Pigeon

Okay, okay, I know the old saying that you need to accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!  But good grief, a week of being the statue is just too much.  I was praying for my gun toting southern friends to put down their bacon and start scaring the pigeons away from my head.  Thanks guys, I am now the pigeon again, feeling so much better today.

And another thing, don't always think that your lucky number is lucky!  I always thought the number 14 was my lucky number, don't know why, just did.  Well, after Fridays labs, my platelets were 14, yikes, not good, so back to the hospital for more platelets.  They must be important, don't know much about them, but I am feeling so much better now.  Thank goodness for the IV fluids, steroids, blood and yes them there platelets, I am back in the saddle again.  Now if I could only get my nurse oncologist Missy, to infuse me with some of her energy, that girl has more than enough for one person.  Love her, she makes me laugh even if you feel rotten!

Felt good enough last night to go downstairs and lay on the sofa that Bill fixed with a pillow and blanket, what a charmer he is!  We watched a Netflix movie, titled Firewall with Harrison Ford.  Wow, I actually watched the entire movie and loved it.  Went to bed after that, had no fevers all night, yea!

Still feeling good today, just a little tired, so I am in my bed doing this blog.  But, wait I must tell you when I got up this morning, I told Bill I was going to make my "home made" chicken noodle soup, if he would help with the "clean-up!"  He was all in for that.  I sat on a stool and chopped the vegies and in no time we had the soup for lunch.  Let me tell you, nothing against Campbell soups, I have eaten plenty lately, but mine today was awesome!  Here is a picture of the finished product.  Only thing missing is some friends and/or family to share it with.

For all my friends and family, and you are a friend if you are reading this blog, if you haven't guessed by now, my faith gets me through each and every day, because I always ask God to just give me the strength and courage to keep fighting, and you know what I absolutely feel His love touch  me and comfort me.  I hope this blog brings some comfort and joy to anyone suffering, that would make me a lucky girl.  But, I think I will still change my lucky number!  God Bless you all.

The Dark Tunnel

I went into a dark tunnel Monday night and I am just now seeing the light at the end, so I know I have found my way out, Thank You God!  The chemo is "doing its thing," but unfortunately it kills off all my good  cells along the way.  Yesterday was the darkest for me so far.  In bed all day, pain, nausea, then spiked a fever, resulting in an emergency call to the Cancer Center.  Let me back up a minute.  When we went for our instruction visit on what to expect with Chemo, they gave us 6 prescriptions to have filled before we started the chemo, they know what they are doing because we had every med available for any issues.  Anyway, back to my story, Bill called the emergency number and an oncologist answered us immediately and told us what to start taking.  We got that under control and my sweet guy helped me to the bathroom, on the way back I fainted.   I don't remember anything.  Bill is recovering from shoulder replacement surgery, so picture this,  my Herculean Man pulled me to the bed with one arm and got me in the bed.  And those that know us know we have a high bed to get in.  He told me later how he did it, can't believe it!  He probably should have just left me on the floor for awhile!

We went to the Cancer Center for my labs and to quote the PA, "baby your numbers are in the toilet!"  My blood pressure was very low and I was still feeling like a limp noodle.  I certainly did not take the time today to wear my earrings and pearls!  They sent us back to the infusion section and I was given IV fluids and a steroid.  Tomorrow we go to the hospital for 2 units of blood.  I will feel like a new person.  I am in bed tonight doing my blog.  But, let me tell you I feel like all my prayer warriors have been out there with their motors running.  I could feel the love.

My sister-in-law Joanne (Bill's sister), gave me a small book a couple of years ago during my last battle with this dreadful disease, titled Prayers for a Woman of Faith.  I have read it so much and it brings me comfort.  My favorite passage is 2 Chronicles 20:15, 17:  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  The battle is not yours, but God's.  Stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  The Lord will be with you.

My faith gets me through my set backs....it gives me the courage to put each baby step I take just that much closer to beating cancer.

I talked with my son Wade and my little granddaughter Katie tonight.....high light of my day!  Aimee was with Nathan at Karate tonight, maybe I will get to chat with them tomorrow.  Goodnight for now.  God Bless You All.

Nathan's Quilt

Did not get to go to Church today, thought it might be too early to take a chance with "crowds" of folks that I don't know what germs they might have that could make me sick.  I will wait a few weeks and let the Cancer Center tell me if they think my white blood cell count is high enough to go wearing a mask.  I have my labs done each week to monitor the counts.  Anyway, it is kind of lonely not to get to go to Sunday School and Church, miss everyone. 

My little lonely daffodil is still blooming and I even saw a beautiful male bluebird on the bluebird box, calling for a mate, come on girls help him out he is beautiful!  I love watching the bluebirds every Spring!

I was feeling real good for a few hours and decided to put the label on the quilt I made for my beautiful grandson Nathan.  I actually finished the quilt before Christmas, but so much happened after that and the label never seemed to get attached.  So here it is finally, hope you enjoy the picture.  Nathan lives up near Washington D.C., so I thought a Patriotic quilt would be the right one for him.  Of course he won't receive it until I finish one for his sister, Katie, not fair to give one to Nathan when she might be sad looking for hers.  I have started her quilt, and with the Good Lord and my friend Jean's help I will be able to deliver both quilts for Christmas, 2012.

I know someone will ask me the size so I measured it and it is approximately 76" by 88".  I used some fabrics with Abraham Lincoln, stars, flags and old newsprint along with many others.  I had such fun making this quilt!

Okay, I have a question or two for my family and friends in the health profession.  I have developed a side affect and want to know if any of you have heard about it before.  I will let my PA know when I see her on Tuesday as well.  Part of the chemo I am taking includes the drug Vincristine (Oncovin) and to quote a part out of the "binder" they gave us at the Cancer Center for side affects, it says in part, 'Oncovin belongs to a class of drugs called the vinca alkaloids.  ......it is important at clinic visits to tell your physician about changes, such as jaw pain that may occur because the drug affects nerves in that area.'  Well, last night while watching TV I told Bill that my jaws have started hurting when I drink or eat.  I thought it was temporary, but the pain is still here today.  The book said it could affect the nerves in fingers and toes as well, but I have no such feeling there.  I am glad for that, so that I can keep knitting.  Not a big deal, but a little uncomfortable.

Have a beautiful day friends and family, I am having a good day myself.  Enjoyed chatting with you!